On Soul Mates

Last night a friend of mine had a get-together for sharing embarrassing/humorous love stories and discussing various related subjects, such as soul mates and the like. We never got past story time, but the prompt did get me thinking on the matter.

I had long had uncertain opinions on this matter. On the one hand, I've always felt that certain people really were meant for each other. My parents are an amazing couple that fits the bill. A couple of my friends I think also qualify, down to the part where they are just passing each other on campus and both think the other extremely familiar despite having never met before. Also, I'm a romantic at heart. However, the words of my bishop back as a teenager have always had a ring of truth, that there are many people in this world that one can get along well with, and it's simply a matter of who you choose to be with. As I thought on this matter a few days ago, the unifying gospel answer came to me. From the language involved, it should be obvious that I am speaking in ideals, that the ultimate goal for anyone is to have an eternal marriage, sealed in the temple of the Lord and by the Holy Spirit of Promise, as these are blessings available to all who seek them. I also preface my words by stating that while I sincerely believe the following to be the truth of how things actually are, all of this is simply my opinion.

Life, both this mortal and the one before it, is about choices. Each individual chooses their eternal companion, and certain personalities do get on better with some than with others and are thus more suited for each other. When and where we make that decision as to who our eternal companion will be varies. We know that people were foreordained to fulfill certain callings because of the choices they made before this life (Alma 13). On that same token, some chose each other in the premortal life, and I'm sure God provides for them to meet when they come to Earth. Others did not make that decision before this life, and thus make that decision here. Both groups are entitled to the same blessings and glories. There is such a thing as a soul mate, for some people, inasmuch as two people chose each other before coming to Earth instead of just making that decision here.

In other words, there are many people compatible with a given individual and it is each person's own choice who they will spend eternity with, and some people made that decision before this life. Of course, those who choose their eternal companion before this life must also choose that same person when they are here, and that does not always happen. Just as one may refuse callings they were foreordained to fulfill, they do not necessarily have to (read: get to) spend eternity with their soul mate. We can make decisions that disqualify us for those blessings, or perhaps we do not heed the Spirit and will marry someone else, later choices may lead to divorce, or any number of things may happen. That does not leave the other person lost forever. Although they had made their decision in the premortal life, if their chosen companion does not hold up their end of the bargain (through unworthiness, poor decisions, or whatnot), they can choose someone else in this life—someone worthy—and still receive all the same blessings.

I'm not sure if there's a way to know before you've met your spouse here if you've already decided who your eternal companion is. Ultimately, it's not supremely important. What matters is that we live righteously and listen to the voice of the Spirit. As long as we do so, everything will work out for our good, for our eternal happiness and salvation.